December 25, 2022
My Journey to
As God prepared the road for
Joseph and Mary, He is preparing our road.
Our road is our walk through this physical journey of life and our
spiritual journey to God. My walk has
taken me to
We are all at a different place in our spiritual walks. God will help us to walk forward into a deeper place. How do we get there? How does our spirit grow? I have found that God uses the circumstances and trials of life to awaken our spirits and to make us open to what He wants to teach us. When the situations of life empty our cups of what we think is so important; God then, has the opportunity to fill our cups, our spirits, with the things which are spiritually and eternally important. The things of this life are temporary. The physical busyness of getting ready for Christmas is soon over and we are taking down the tree, putting away holiday decorations, and making New Year’s resolutions. Each of us is looking for more than the temporary.
Scripture has taught me that “faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God”. As we hear again the Christmas story, as we listen to and read scripture, as we sing songs of adoration, praise, and thanksgiving, as we worship together, and as we share our faith with each other, we grow and move into that deeper spiritual place. I have found that love is contagious and so is faith. Faith is a gift from God. There is a longing in each and every heart which God wants to fill. Everyone searches for purpose and fulfillment. God convicts our hearts and gives us a beginning mustard seed of faith. It is up to us to seek and then receive God’s gift of faith. When we believe and receive this gift, our faith will begin to grow. We are to confess our faith, use our faith, and share it with others. I have been given the gift of faith. I would like to share with you a little about my life and my personal faith journey.
To grow in faith is a choice. How God chooses to bring us to the place where we meet Him is not usually a choice. I would not have chosen the pain which our family experienced when we suffered the death of two of our children. I believe that God has a purpose and a plan for each of our lives, whether they be short or long in years. My spiritual search for truth intensified during this pain filled time and led me into a deep abiding faith.
Richard and I were married fifty eight years ago on
September 25, 1964. We had four
daughters, Elisa, Erica, Carrie, and
Christa. We lived in West Hempstead,
Elisa Lynn was born on May
11, 1970. She died at 9 years of age in
her sleep on the morning of June 27, 1979. Erica Gayle was born on October 22,
1972. She and her Husband, Trevor, have
given us two wonderful grandsons, Trevor and Hunter. Carrie Marlene was born on September 25, 1980
(on our 16th wedding anniversary)
She died two weeks later from complications of meconium aspiration. She never came home from the hospital. Christa Grace was born on May 25, 1983. She and her husband, Kris, have blessed us
with three precious grandsons, Harrison, Brooks, and
When going through the painful years of loss, my faith was being severely tested. No physical person could help me. I felt as if I was walking in a fog. I was going through the motions of living. I had to keep going for Erica and for Richie. Richie couldn’t even function. My parents and sisters were devastated. I was searching for comfort and purpose. Many couples are unable to make their marriage work after the loss of a child because both are hurting so much that they can’t help each other.
Prior to the death of my children my life had been a very stable one. Richie did not have an easy childhood but was now settled and happy as a husband and father. His world came crashing in on him once again. His spiritual foundation was not strong enough to bring him any peace or comfort. My friend Bobby said “you have the Lord and Richie has you”. My faith gave me strength. As God lifted me up I could help and encourage Erica and Richie.
My foundation of faith was
begun and nurtured by God fearing parents who brought me to church and Sunday
School at a very young age. I was baptized at
In my search for deeper understanding, increased faith, and spiritual growth, Erica and I began attending The Commack Church of God. God used the preaching and the loving congregation of this church to feed my spirit and to bring me into a deeper dimension of faith. It was during this time that I continued to pray for another child. I had had two miscarriages. My prayer became, “God, if it isn’t in your plan please take the desire for another child away from me”. I had submitted to his will. He did not take the desire away. He gave us the desire of our hearts on May 25, 1983. Christa Grace was born. I thank Him every day for giving us another child and for giving Erica a sister.
In 1984 our family joined St. Luke Lutheran Church. It became our church home for 23 years. I taught Sunday School for 10 years and as a family we grew in faith and in greater love for our Lord. Pastor Froehlich baptized, confirmed and married Christa. Pastor confirmed and married Erica and baptized her two sons. The people at St Luke were our extended family.
In 2008 we sold our home of 35 years; I retired from
Oncology Nursing at
I can only remember one time
in my life when I questioned God’s existence. It was after Baby Carrie died. I couldn’t believe that a second child would be
taken from me. When she died others including Richie questioned how I could
maintain my faith. How could a loving
God have allowed this to happen again?
Maybe the God, whom I’ve always known, was not really there. It was the loneliest time of my life. Who could I turn to if He wasn’t there; if He
wasn’t walking with
This dry period only lasted a few weeks. I searched the scriptures. Where else could I go for answers? I would sit in my yard with my Bible. God led me to the Book of Job. Job was God’s most beloved servant and God allowed him to loose everything including his children. Job never lost faith. I wasn’t going to either! God loved Job and I knew that He loved me too. I was reminded of the poem, Footprints in the Sand. God was there and He would continue to carry me through the tough times in life. When I read 2 Corinthians1: 4, 5, I knew that the words in this passage were meant for me. “God helps us in all of our troubles, so that we are able to help others who have all kinds of troubles, using the same help that we ourselves have received from God”. He spoke to me through His word. I would continue to search and believe! I was sure of His words and I was sure that He was present in my life! His word told me that He would use me in the lives of others and He has. By God’s grace alone was I brought into this deeper place as I walked my spiritual journey. I will continue walking with Him. I want to glorify Him in my life.
Faith is an awesome gift but with that gift comes responsibility. To he whom much is given, much is required. Jesus is the Lord of my life. I love Him with all of my heart, mind, soul, and spirit. I am able to love others because He loved me first. I pray for wisdom and discernment daily. I ask God to use me to His glory in the lives of others. My trials have given me spiritual strength and understanding. God in me, through The Holy Spirit, gives me the ability to know what He would want me to do or to say to help others. He has touched people through me in my personal life and in my professional life as a nurse. I want to be His vessel and I know He hears my prayer. Nothing is more important to me than being in God’s will. What I do for Him is the only thing that will last throughout eternity.
My earthly journey since Richie’s death in January 2021 has been a difficult one. But my grief is overshadowed by my gratitude to God for the wonderful 56 years of marriage which He blessed us with and for the children and grandchildren which He gave to Richie and me. I am blessed and I am grateful. Most of all the gift of faith which God has given me assures me that Richie and I will meet again in eternity. Richie, Elisa, Carrie, my sister Jane, and others whom I have loved on earth will be “at the door” with Jesus, my Savior, to welcome me “Home”. In the meantime I will “occupy”, keep busy, during the time I am still on my earthly journey.
The Bible is my road map and
GPS. It gives me direction. It is God’s love letter to each of us. God’s promises are real. Jesus is the Savior. The Holy Spirit is our comforter, our guide,
and He is God’s power within us. We are God’s children and He calls each of us
to come to Him just as we are. He draws
us to Himself; asking us to believe and to receive the gift of faith. Anyone who truly confesses, believes, and
receives Christ will never want to turn back from their walk to
By sharing myself with you, my hope is that your faith will be encouraged. If anyone is going through a difficult time in their lives, you are not alone, God is with you. Ask for and seek His presence. He will make His presence known and give you His peace.
As we walk the road to
