December 25, 2022

My Journey to Bethlehem

As God prepared the road for Joseph and Mary, He is preparing our road.  Our road is our walk through this physical journey of life and our spiritual journey to God.  My walk has taken me to Bethlehem and the Christ Child.  Christ is the Messiah. He is God’s plan of redemption seen throughout the Old and New Testaments of God’s Word.

We are all at a different place in our spiritual walks. God will help us to walk forward into a deeper place. How do we get there?  How does our spirit grow?  I have found that God uses the circumstances and trials of life to awaken our spirits and to make us open to what He wants to teach us.  When the situations of life empty our cups of what we think is so important; God then, has the opportunity to fill our cups, our spirits, with the things which are spiritually and eternally important.  The things of this life are temporary.  The physical busyness of getting ready for Christmas is soon over and we are taking down the tree, putting away holiday decorations, and making New Year’s resolutions.  Each of us is looking for more than the temporary.

Scripture has taught me that “faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God”.  As we hear again the Christmas story, as we listen to and read scripture, as we sing songs of adoration, praise, and thanksgiving, as we worship together, and as we share our faith with each other, we grow and move into that deeper spiritual place. I have found that love is contagious and so is faith.  Faith is a gift from God.  There is a longing in each and every heart which God wants to fill.  Everyone searches for purpose and fulfillment.  God convicts our hearts and gives us a beginning mustard seed of faith.  It is up to us to seek and then receive God’s gift of faith.  When we believe and receive this gift, our faith will begin to grow.  We are to confess our faith, use our faith, and share it with others.  I have been given the gift of faith.  I would like to share with you a little about my life and my personal faith journey.

To grow in faith is a choice. How God chooses to bring us to the place where we meet Him is not usually a choice.  I would not have chosen the pain which our family experienced when we suffered the death of two of our children.  I believe that God has a purpose and a plan for each of our lives, whether they be short or long in years.  My spiritual search for truth intensified during this pain filled time and led me into a deep abiding faith.

Richard and I were married fifty eight years ago on September 25, 1964.  We had four daughters, Elisa, Erica, Carrie, and Christa.  We lived in West Hempstead, Long Island, NY, for the first nine years of our marriage.  Richie built our home in Dix Hills.  We lived there until we retired and sold it in 2008.  Much happiness and many tears were experienced during those years on Long Island.

Elisa Lynn was born on May 11, 1970.  She died at 9 years of age in her sleep on the morning of June 27, 1979.  Erica Gayle was born on October 22, 1972.  She and her Husband, Trevor, have given us two wonderful grandsons, Trevor and Hunter.  Carrie Marlene was born on September 25, 1980 (on our 16^th wedding anniversary)  She died two weeks later from complications of meconium aspiration.  She never came home from the hospital.  Christa Grace was born on May 25, 1983.  She and her husband, Kris, have blessed us with three precious grandsons, Harrison, Brooks, and Dalton.  God was walking with us.  He brought us through our times of great pain. And over the years He has given us so much joy.  We have learned to prioritize our lives.  Faith, family, and friends come before any temporary material things in our lives.

When going through the painful years of loss, my faith was being severely tested. No physical person could help me.  I felt as if I was walking in a fog.  I was going through the motions of living.  I had to keep going for Erica and for Richie.  Richie couldn’t even function.  My parents and sisters were devastated.   I was searching for comfort and purpose.  Many couples are unable to make their marriage work after the loss of a child because both are hurting so much that they can’t help each other.

Prior to the death of my children my life had been a very stable one. Richie did not have an easy childhood but was now settled and happy as a husband and father.  His world came crashing in on him once again.  His spiritual foundation was not strong enough to bring him any peace or comfort. My friend Bobby said “you have the Lord and Richie has you”. My faith gave me strength. As God lifted me up I could help and encourage Erica and Richie.

My foundation of faith was begun and nurtured by God fearing parents who brought me to church and Sunday School at a very young age. I was baptized at Bethelship Methodist Church in Brooklyn.  I was confirmed at Gloria Dea  Lutheran Church in Huntington.  I attended and taught Sunday School as a teenager at West Hills Methodist Church. While living in West Hempstead, I attended Hempstead Methodist Church.  This is where Elisa and Erica were baptized.  When we moved to Dix Hills in 1974 we attended the Dix Hills Methodist Church.  After the death of my children, I went back to West Hills Methodist Church to be with my parents and to be spiritually fed by a wonderful pastor who helped me through a very difficult time.

In my search for deeper understanding, increased faith, and spiritual growth, Erica and I began attending The Commack Church of God. God used the preaching and the loving congregation of this church to feed my spirit and to bring me into a deeper dimension of faith.  It was during this time that I continued to pray for another child.  I had had two miscarriages.  My prayer became, “God, if it isn’t in your plan please take the desire for another child away from me”.  I had submitted to his will.  He did not take the desire away. He gave us the desire of our hearts on May 25, 1983.  Christa Grace was born.  I thank Him every day for giving us another child and for giving Erica a sister.

In 1984 our family joined St. Luke Lutheran Church.  It became our church home for 23 years.  I taught Sunday School for 10 years and as a family we grew in faith and in greater love for our Lord.  Pastor Froehlich baptized, confirmed and married Christa.  Pastor confirmed and married Erica and baptized her two sons.  The people at St Luke were our extended family.

In 2008 we sold our home of 35 years; I retired from Oncology Nursing at Huntington Hospital.  We moved to Orefield, Pennsylvania.  Our new home is one mile away from Erica and one hour away from Christa.  We had purchased a house in The Florida Keys in 1991.  Again, God has given us the desire of our hearts.  Our retirement years were being spent between sunny Florida in the Keys and Orefield, Pennsylvania near our children and their families.

I can only remember one time in my life when I questioned God’s existence.  It was after Baby Carrie died.  I couldn’t believe that a second child would be taken from me. When she died others including Richie questioned how I could maintain my faith.  How could a loving God have allowed this to happen again?  Maybe the God, whom I’ve always known, was not really there.  It was the loneliest time of my life.  Who could I turn to if He wasn’t there; if He wasn’t walking with me.?

This dry period only lasted a few weeks.  I searched the scriptures.  Where else could I go for answers?  I would sit in my yard with my Bible.  God led me to the Book of Job.  Job was God’s most beloved servant and God allowed him to loose everything including his children.  Job never lost faith.  I wasn’t going to either!  God loved Job and I knew that He loved me too.  I was reminded of the poem, Footprints in the Sand.  God was there and He would continue to carry me through the tough times in life. When I read 2 Corinthians1: 4, 5, I knew that the words in this passage were meant for me.   “God helps us in all of our troubles, so that we are able to help others who have all kinds of troubles, using the same help that we ourselves have received from God”.  He spoke to me through His word. I would continue to search and believe!  I was sure of His words and I was sure that He was present in my life!  His word told me that He would use me in the lives of others and He has.  By God’s grace alone was I brought into this deeper place as I walked my spiritual journey.   I will continue walking with Him.  I want to glorify Him in my life.

Faith is an awesome gift but with that gift comes responsibility.  To he whom much is given, much is required.  Jesus is the Lord of my life.  I love Him with all of my heart, mind, soul, and spirit.  I am able to love others because He loved me first. I pray for wisdom and discernment daily.  I ask God to use me to His glory in the lives of others. My trials have given me spiritual strength and understanding. God in me, through The Holy Spirit, gives me the ability to know what He would want me to do or to say to help others.  He has touched people through me in my personal life and in my professional life as a nurse.  I want to be His vessel and I know He hears my prayer. Nothing is more important to me than being in God’s will.  What I do for Him is the only thing that will last throughout eternity.

My earthly journey since Richie’s death in January 2021 has been a difficult one.  But my grief is overshadowed by my gratitude to God for the wonderful 56 years of marriage which He blessed us with and for the children and grandchildren which He gave to Richie and me.  I am blessed and I am grateful.  Most of all the gift of faith which God has given me assures me that Richie and I will meet again in eternity.  Richie, Elisa, Carrie, my sister Jane, and others whom I have loved on earth will be “at the door” with Jesus, my Savior, to welcome me “Home”.  In the meantime I will “occupy”, keep busy, during the time I am still on my earthly journey.

The Bible is my road map and GPS.  It gives me direction.  It is God’s love letter to each of us.  God’s promises are real.  Jesus is the Savior.  The Holy Spirit is our comforter, our guide, and He is God’s power within us. We are God’s children and He calls each of us to come to Him just as we are.  He draws us to Himself; asking us to believe and to receive the gift of faith.  Anyone who truly confesses, believes, and receives Christ will never want to turn back from their walk to Bethlehem.

By sharing myself with you, my hope is that your faith will be encouraged.  If anyone is going through a difficult time in their lives, you are not alone, God is with you.  Ask for and seek His presence.  He will make His presence known and give you His peace.

As we walk the road to Bethlehem this Christmas; may we grow in the love of Jesus, may we grow in faith, and may we pass on our increased love and faith to others.  I pray that the lights of Christmas will glow through each of us all year long.

What or Who are you plugged into?

 

As 2022 begins, most of us reflect on years past and try to imagine what the coming year will bring.  Our hope is for a happy, peaceful, healthy, and prosperous year ahead. We think about our circumstances and the people around us.  No one exists in his or her own bubble.  Each of us is affected by issues and people in our lives. Each day, each year, we make minor and major decisions and choices. We are all on a temporary earthly journey. As a baby, others make these choices for us. As we grow into childhood and beyond we must become progressively more independent.  Our path can go in many directions as we touch and are touched by the lives of others. 

Every individual consists of a spirit and a soul housed in a physical body.  Our soul is our mind, will, and emotions.  In order to be healthy and well balanced we must feed and exercise our bodies, minds, and spirits with nutritious foods and edifying thoughts and actions as we mature and learn.  The direction we follow is an example of the choices we make.  We learn by our mistakes and hopefully move forward making wiser choices. We can strive for perfection but there is no perfect person.   

Our belief system helps to govern who we become.  There are many adjectives which people can use to describe others.  When a person is dependent on self, success, or possessions they can be seen as arrogant, self serving, egotistical, or full of pride.  The opposite would be a person who is humble, kind, gentle, generous, thoughtful, and forgiving.  A man or woman can plug into many sources of power.  We all should look at our individual lives and realize who or what is our source of power. 

I have chosen to believe that God is the Creator, my Creator.  I choose to be fed by His Word.  I have received the gifts of Faith and Salvation.  These gifts are offered to everyone as stated in John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that He gave His Only Begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life”.   God gives mankind free will.  We can choose the gifts of faith and salvation for our self but God will never force them upon us. 

God is my power source.  A flashlight will not illuminate our way without a battery.  A lamp will not work if it is not plugged into electricity.  Mankind can live and move when operating physically and mentally in his or her own spirit and physical ability but will never have eternal power if not plugged into God as its power source.  I do not want to be a lamp without electricity or a flashlight without a fully charged battery.  In John 8:12 Jesus tells us that He is the light of the world.  In Matthew 5:14-16 we are told that we are the light of the world.  God is the Divine Flashlight within us.  When God’s light and power flows in us we become His battery operated, God operated flashlight which radiates His light and power into our dark world. 

Lord God, fill me with your Holy Spirit Power and light.  Use me to your Glory.  I thank you for your light, your Word, your promises, and your power.     Amen